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  • #46
    Dead Footy Club Sketch (apologies to Monty Python)

    O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Toronto Football Club...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
    C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead last, that's what's wrong with it!
    O: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.

    C: Look, matey, I know a dead last football team when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

    O: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable team, the Toronto FC, idn'it, ay? Beautiful uniforms!
    C: The uniforms don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
    O: Nononono, no, no! 'it's resting!
    C: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake them up!

    (shouting at the men on the pitch)

    'Ello, Toronto Footy Club! I've got lovely fresh pints for you if you show...(owner kicks a ball into their midst)

    O: There, they moved!
    C: No, they didn't, that was you kicking a ball!

    O: I never!!
    C: Yes, you did!
    O: I never, never did anything...
    C: (yelling and kicking more balls) 'ELLO TORONTO!!!!!

    Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

    (Takes the squad off the pitch and thumps its head on the team bench. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

    C: Now that's what I call a dead football club.
    O: No, no.....No, it's stunned!
    C: STUNNED?!?
    O: Yeah! You stunned them, just as they was wakin' up! Toronto FC stuns easily, major.

    C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That team is definitely deceased, and when I purchased my season ticket not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged practice.

    O: Well, they're...they're, ah...probably pining for the Premier League.

    C: PININ' for the PREMIER LEAGUE?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why are they flat on their back?

    O: No no! It's pining!

    C: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This FC is no more! It has ceased to be!
    It's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!


    'It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! ...pushing up the daisies!
    'It's metabolic processes are now 'istory! It's off the pitch!
    It's kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off it's mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

    THIS IS AN EX-FOOTBALL CLUB!!


    In the Eastern Standings of the MLS (Major League Soccer) the Toronto FC is in last place. Dead Last.
    Why oh why, like our other basement-dwelling teams Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Raptors and the Toronto Blue Jays do we SUPPORT THEM!?!?!?!?!?

    Are we fools?



    =o\

    Noel

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    • #47
      lol. You guys and your football. I never really liked it - kind of boring to me, haha.
      只讓我們相戀 這一季的秋天, 飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片。要我怎麼撿。

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      • #48
        Originally Posted by Migtsf View Post
        I don’t know if you noticed, but my first reply to this thread was to mention the club I support and have always supported.

        I understand where Anastacia is coming from because like her, I have unfortunately seen the best Portuguese players and coaches move out the country, because if you want to be at the top you belong in leagues like the Serie A, Spanish Liga or the Premier League. Like her I like good football, and nothing better than the best players and coaches to produce that. Those players and coaches are in those leagues I mentioned.

        It has nothing to do with Chelsea. I also supported Barcelona and Real Madrid when Figo played for those teams and today I couldn’t care less to what happens to those clubs.

        What you and others fail to understand is that just because you support one club it shouldn’t prevent you from appreciating other teams or other players or coaches.
        In fact, I think people who call themselves nothing but club or team fans are less fans than the others because they can’t see beyond that scope. That kind of mentality fits more in the hooligan profile or firm member than a football fan. If anything, I would call those people fanatics, not fans.
        nice to see someone who think like me !
        Winner of crucible 77's 2008 Jiangsu Classic Fantasy Snooker Game
        Winner of 2009 China Open Prediction Contest

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        • #49
          I knew this thread would cause controversy!

          Leicester City[/COLOR], Championship bound. Any other Foxes fans out there?
          28th April 1985 - the day it all started!

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          • #50
            The Premier League is fantastic but there are nearly no English players involved in the top 5. So it must be very frustrating for our English friends to have the best competition in the world with almost no players, coaches or money coming from Britain. Anyway I m a big supporter of Arsenal and Wenger bringing the most attractive football but indeed not bringing the the results they deserve...
            Last edited by Wim; 28 February 2009, 10:05 PM.
            I saw that going differently in my mind

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            • #51
              glory,glory tottenham hotspur.
              best of luck tomorrow in the final lads.
              (we'll need it)

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              • #52
                And concerning C Ronaldo a bit flashy indeed but a little boy compared to Zidane for instance. He was miserable in the CL final against Chelsea and in Euro 2008 very disappointing. So he is great against Stoke City I guess but still a long way to go...
                I saw that going differently in my mind

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                • #53
                  Originally Posted by Wim View Post
                  The Premier League is fantastic but there are nearly no English players involved in the top 5. So it must be very frustrated for our English friends to have the best competition in the world with almost no players, coaches or money coming from Britain. Anyway I m a big supporter of Arsenal and Wenger bringing the most attractive football but indeed not bringing the the results they deserve...
                  It's not frustrating - I'm proud to know that our league is the best in Europe and that I can watch the best players in the World week in week out
                  28th April 1985 - the day it all started!

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                  • #54
                    Originally Posted by jamesa54321 View Post
                    It's not frustrating - I'm proud to know that our league is the best in Europe and that I can watch the best players in the World week in week out
                    Good reply jamesa54321 I agree with that ! I wish we could ...
                    I saw that going differently in my mind

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                    • #55
                      Originally Posted by Wim View Post
                      The Premier League is fantastic but there are nearly no English players involved in the top 5. So it must be very frustrated for our English friends to have the best competition in the world with almost no players, coaches or money coming from Britain. Anyway I m a big supporter of Arsenal and Wenger bringing the most attractive football but indeed not bringing the the results they deserve...
                      well i am not so sure about chelsea,liverpool and arsenal but out of man utd's 1st team 43 players altogether 21 are english and another 4 where born in the great britain and sorry to inform you that there are currently 3 foreign managers in the premier league.

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                      • #56
                        Originally Posted by ste bed View Post
                        well i am not so sure about chelsea,liverpool and arsenal but out of man utd's 1st team 43 players altogether 21 are english and another 4 where born in the great britain and sorry to inform you that there are currently 3 foreign managers in the premier league.
                        Benitez, Wenger and Hiddinck are the 3 foreign managers involved in the 4 teams playing in the Champions League...
                        I saw that going differently in my mind

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                        • #57
                          thats nothing to do with the managers thats all about the money put wenger/benitez at west brom or sunderland and see how far they get then

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                          • #58
                            i love talking football its an argument you can never win .

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                            • #59
                              My point still is that the top of English football is not in British hands, coaches money, better players and so on...
                              I saw that going differently in my mind

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                              • #60
                                Foreign players are not the be all and end all in the prem look at boro in 96/97 season they had 3 of the best players in the league with ravanelli, juninio and emerson and they went down, There is a lot to be said about the british fight and camaraderie and you only have to look at the youth systems of clubs like united, everton and doubtless others too. You only have to cast an eye over the manchester evening news to see the unrest at city.

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