Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Questions you cant answer

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Questions you cant answer

    Just a thought but...



    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?





    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?



    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?



    Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

    Are there especially reserved parking spaces for ‘normal’ people at the Special Olympics?

    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    Did you ever stop and wonder........ .


    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

    Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there.....? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'


    Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?


    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Stop singing and read on.........

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    :snooker:

  • #2
    I really like that sense of humor and philosophy....
    I am confused... Oh wait... Maybe I'm not...

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally Posted by 1lawyer View Post
      Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Not to die too early - before the mission is complete

      How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? War industry is always the best financed

      If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Yes
      ..........thanks
      Co-winner of Spike’s 2009 UK Championship number of centuries prediction contest.

      RIP Noel. RIP.

      Comment


      • #4
        Why do we wash bath towels? Surely we're clean when we use them?

        Comment


        • #5
          why is dyslexia so hard to spell

          Comment


          • #6
            why doesnt zoology have four o's?

            Comment


            • #7
              Why has humor the same word stem as humidity when I prefer a dry sense of humor?
              I am confused... Oh wait... Maybe I'm not...

              Comment


              • #8
                Why are a fat chance and a slim chance the same thing?

                If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

                Comment


                • #9
                  This is a very strange list of coincidences between Abraham Lincoln and JFK who were both assasinated....

                  - Lincoln's name has 7 letters
                  - Kennedy's name has 7 letters

                  - In Lincoln's & Kennedy's names the vowels & consonants fall in exactly the same place;***
                  in the order c, v, c, c, v, c, c

                  - Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846
                  - Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946

                  - Lincoln was elected president in 1860
                  - Kennedy was elected president in 1960

                  - Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln

                  - War was thrust upon Lincoln almost immediately after inauguration
                  - War was thrust upon Kennedy almost immediately after inauguration

                  - Lincoln ordered the Treasury to print its own money
                  - Kennedy ordered the Treasury to print its own money

                  - International bankers may have arranged the assassinations of Lincoln and Kennedy

                  - Lincoln gave negroes freedom and legalized equality
                  - Kennedy enforced equality for negroes

                  - Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address on November 19, 1863
                  - Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963

                  - Lincoln was loved by the common people and hated by the establishment
                  - Kennedy was loved by the common people and hated by the establishment

                  - Lincoln was succeeded, after assassination, by vice-president Johnson
                  - Kennedy was succeeded, after assassination, by vice-president Johnson

                  - Andrew Johnson was born in 1808
                  - Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908

                  - Andrew Johnson's name has 13 letters
                  - Lyndon Johnson's name has 13 letters

                  - Andrew Johnson had a pug nose and slicked-back hair
                  - Lyndon Johnson had a pug nose and slicked-back hair

                  - Lincoln was sitting beside his wife when he was shot
                  - Kennedy was sitting beside his wife when he was shot

                  - Rathbone, who was with Lincoln when he was shot, was injured (by being stabbed)
                  - Connally, who was with Kennedy when he was shot, was injured (by being shot)
                  - Rathbone's name has 8 letters
                  - Connally's name has 8 letters

                  - Lincoln's wife held his head in her lap after he was shot
                  - Kennedy's wife held his head in her lap after he was shot

                  - Lincoln was shot on a Friday
                  - Kennedy was shot on a Friday

                  - Lincoln was shot in a theatre named Ford
                  - Kennedy was shot in a car made by Ford

                  - Kennedy was shot in a car named Lincoln

                  - Lincoln's bodyguard was away from his post at the door of the President's box at the theatre
                  - Kennedy's bodyguards were away from their posts on the running-boards of the President's car

                  - Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran to a warehouse
                  - JFK was shot from a warehouse and his alleged assassin ran to a theatre

                  - Lincoln's assassin had a three-worded name, John Wilkes Booth
                  - Kennedy's alleged assassin had a three-worded name, Lee Harvey Oswald

                  - John Wilkes Booth has 15 letters
                  - Lee Harvey Oswald has 15 letters

                  - John Wilkes Boothe was born in 1839 (s/b 1838)
                  - Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939

                  - Lincoln didn't die immediately after being shot
                  - Kennedy didn't die immediately after being shot

                  - Lincoln and Kennedy died in places beginning with the initials P and H
                  - Lincoln died in Petersen's house
                  - Kennedy died in Parkland Hospital

                  - Booth was shot and killed* in police custody before going to trial
                  - Oswald was shot and killed in police custody before going to trial

                  - Kennedy's funeral was modelled on Lincoln's funeral

                  - Andrew Johnson was a heavy drinker with crude behaviour
                  - Lyndon Johnson was a heavy drinker with crude behaviour

                  - There were conspiracy theories that Johnson was knowledgeable about Lincoln's assassination
                  - There were conspiracy theories that Johnson was knowledgeable about Kennedy's assassination**

                  - Days before it happened Lincoln told his wife and friends about a dream he'd had of being shot by an assassin
                  - Hours before it happened Kennedy told his wife and friends it would be easy for an assassin to shoot him from a crowd

                  - Shortly after Lincoln was shot the telegraph system went down
                  - Shortly after Kennedy was shot the telephone system went down

                  - Kennedy's father had been the Ambassador to England at the Court of St James
                  - Lincoln's son became the Ambassador to England at the Court of St James

                  - Lincoln and Kennedy were 2 of the greatest presidents of the nation

                  - Lincoln's wife tastefully and expensively re-decorated the White House
                  - Kennedy's wife tastefully and expensively re-decorated the White House

                  - Lincoln loved great literature and could recite poetry by heart
                  - Kennedy loved great literature and could recite poetry by heart

                  - Lincoln had young children while living at the White House
                  - Kennedy had young children while living at the White House

                  - Lincoln's sons had ponies they rode on the White House grounds
                  - Kennedy's daughter had a pony she rode on the White House grounds

                  - Lincoln lost a child (12 year old son) to death while President
                  - Kennedy lost a child (newly born son) to death while President

                  - Lincoln had 2 sons named Robert and Edward. Edward died young and Robert lived on.
                  - Kennedy had 2 brothers named Robert and Edward. Robert died young and Edward lived on

                  - Lincoln let his children run and play in his office
                  - Kennedy let his children run and play in his office

                  - After Lincoln's assassination the nation experienced an emotional convulsion
                  - After Kennedy's assassination the nation experienced an emotional convulsion

                  - the whole world cried when Lincoln died
                  - the whole world cried when Kennedy died

                  - Lincoln's funeral train travelled from Washington-DC to New York
                  - Kennedy's brother's funeral train travelled from New York to Washington-DC

                  - Lincoln Assassination conspiracy theories are believed these 140 141 years later
                  - Kennedy Assassination conspiracy theories are believed these 42 43 years later

                  - Abraham was the first name of the man who filmed Kennedy's murder in the Lincoln

                  - The man running alongside Kennedy's car snapping pictures with his 35mm camera was a salesman of Lincoln cars

                  - Kennedy bought a Virginia home that was the 1861 Civil War headquarters of Lincoln's first general-in-chief, McClellan

                  - Jefferson Davis was the name of the president of the Confederate states while Lincoln was president of the Union states
                  - Jefferson Davis Tippit was the name of the police officer killed allegedly by Kennedy's alleged assassin

                  - Lincoln was famous for his wit and for telling hilarious stories and anecdotes
                  - Kennedy was famous for his wit and for telling hilarious stories and anecdotes

                  - Lincoln was sitting in a rocking chair at Ford's Theater when he was shot
                  - Kennedy had a special rocking chair he sat in at the White House
                  - Henry Ford bought the rocking chair Lincoln died in and put it in his museum in Dearborn

                  - Kennedy's seat in the Lincoln he was sitting in when he was shot is in Ford's museum
                  - Lincoln's seat in the Ford he was sitting in when he was shot is in Ford's museum

                  - John Kennedy is the name of a character in a 1951 movie about a detective travelling by train to thwart the assassination of President Lincoln
                  - John Kennedy is the name of the real-life detective who travelled in the train with President Lincoln in 1860 to thwart his assassination
                  2009 Shanghai Masters Predict the Qualifiers Champion

                  2008 Grand Prix Final Prediction Champion


                  http://ryan147.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    where does your lap go when you stand up.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally Posted by crucible77 View Post
                      This is a very strange list of coincidences between Abraham Lincoln and JFK who were both assasinated....
                      A week before Lincoln was assassinated he was in Monroe, Maryland.
                      A week before Kennedy was assassinated he was in Marilyn Monroe.

                      Oops, sorry!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Incredible similarities between the two assasinations
                        All the way Mark J!!

                        I understand nothing from snooker. - Dedicated to jrc750!

                        Winner of the German Masters 2011 Lucky Dip

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally Posted by The Statman View Post
                          A week before Lincoln was assassinated he was in Monroe, Maryland.
                          A week before Kennedy was assassinated he was in Marilyn Monroe.

                          Oops, sorry!
                          funny as hell:snooker:

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally Posted by 1lawyer View Post

                            Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

                            Stop singing and read on.........
                            How did u know I was singing....lol

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally Posted by 1lawyer View Post

                              Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
                              My freezer has a light..... is this not normal? i thought all freezers had a light.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X