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  • Management

    A man in a hot air balloon , realizing he was lost, reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended further and shouted to the lady "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am"

    The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon , hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west Longitude."

    "You must be in IT," said the balloon ist.

    "Actually I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

    "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

    The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

    "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

    "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air . You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my ****ing fault..."

  • #2
    Brilliant.

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    • #3
      Good stuff! Very funny.

      A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and Blue.

      Doctor: "What happened?"
      Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me."
      Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."
      Woman: " Doctor, is the medicine for me or for my husband"
      Doctor: "That is the best part - you take the medicine but it works really well on the hubby"

      Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and
      reborn.

      Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"
      Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"


      My apologies to all the ladies on the forum!
      I often use large words I don't really understand in an attempt to appear more photosynthesis.

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