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True, I spent about five minutes trying to fit xylophone in somehow 
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A brilliant cheer denied Ebdons frame, green held in jaws. Ken led motionless now, only peters questions rose. Still time under Virgos watch...xylophonists yawned zestfullyYou play a long slow deadweight red to a corner pocket. As it approaches the pocket, a kamikaze woodlouse crawls out from under the cushion and makes its way across the table, conflicting with the path of the red precisely at the point the red gets there. The red, needless to say, veers off course, and the future of the woodlouse is uncertain. - The Statman
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Xylophonists! Very clever!Comment
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After becoming considerably disharmonious, everyone finally gained harmony in jubilant, keen loud music – not only percussionists; quite raucous trombonists, upbeat violinists, wacky xylophonists, yielding zestfully.Comment
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Now here comes pure madness:
A Bitter Cope Danced Enigmatically Five Good Hours In Jamie's Kobold Laboratory.
Man, Nuts Or Psychic Questions Ronnie Said To Underachiever Virgo With Xanthous Yakuzas Zigzagging.Comment
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Very good Statters, but it is supposed to be about Snooker!Comment
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"Absolutely brilliant!" Cried Drago. Ebdons foul gifted Higgins in, "just keep leading" mentioned Nigel. Occasionally Peter queried refs sight, though unjust.
Visiting Williams x-ray yelled Zak.
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Last bit is a bit random
You play a long slow deadweight red to a corner pocket. As it approaches the pocket, a kamikaze woodlouse crawls out from under the cushion and makes its way across the table, conflicting with the path of the red precisely at the point the red gets there. The red, needless to say, veers off course, and the future of the woodlouse is uncertain. - The Statman Comment
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Here's one related to snooker!
A brilliant cueing display (except fluked green); Hendry's invincibe – just kept looking majestic. Now O'Sullivan profaned quite rudely – this unkind verbal was X-rated – yawn, zzzzzzzzzzzComment
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A brilliant crucible debut, exciting from Guernseys hero Ian Jarvis. Ken lost marginally, not oftenly proven quite ruthless. Still, underachiver Virgo was xcellent (). Youngsters zooming.
You play a long slow deadweight red to a corner pocket. As it approaches the pocket, a kamikaze woodlouse crawls out from under the cushion and makes its way across the table, conflicting with the path of the red precisely at the point the red gets there. The red, needless to say, veers off course, and the future of the woodlouse is uncertain. - The Statman Comment
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And the one letter that The Statman forgot with his first attempt was S!Originally Posted by Ginger_Freak
Could at least have said "snookering trombonists..." 
"If anybody can knock these three balls in, this man can."
David Taylor, 11 January 1982, as Steve Davis prepared to pot the blue, in making the first 147 break on television.Comment
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This is the second submission with no "S"Originally Posted by The Statman Has someone ripped pages out of your dictionary today, The Statman?
"If anybody can knock these three balls in, this man can."
David Taylor, 11 January 1982, as Steve Davis prepared to pot the blue, in making the first 147 break on television.Comment
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(A quick entry. The first stanza should be read in the rhythm of a limerick. Any suggestions that I lost concentration for the second half, and that it is slightly less meaningful, are totally unfounded!)....
A brilliant cueman, Davis –
Extraordinarily famous –
Gallantly , Hilariously
In-vin-ci-bly
Just killed loser McManus!
(No offence)
Playing quite ridiculous shots
Takes Us,
Victorious Warriorprincess, Xena
Yesterday’s zoophile!"If anybody can knock these three balls in, this man can."
David Taylor, 11 January 1982, as Steve Davis prepared to pot the blue, in making the first 147 break on television.Comment
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Is mine the only one that actually makes any sense!!!Comment
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OK, here is a list that might be in the possession of Mic**** "The Hitman" H*** (name obscured for legal reasons) - or indeed any snooker hitman:
A bloody cue
Deadly extension
Fingerprintproof gloves
Halfbutt (indestructible – just!)
Kick!
Lethal marker – nice! (or poison quietly)
Radioactive spider
Triangle (uniformly varnished, waxed)
X-rest
Yellow
Zulu (apparently over 45% of former Crucible players have been zulus - ask The Statman)"If anybody can knock these three balls in, this man can."
David Taylor, 11 January 1982, as Steve Davis prepared to pot the blue, in making the first 147 break on television.Comment
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He he, I would give you the point for that one if it was me who set the question!Comment
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