sharing a room??

[Ekphantos]

Following situation:
Part of my lab (I am a physicist) was going to a conference in Germany for a couple of days, so we had to book rooms at the hostel there. For junior scientist only double rooms were available; I (female) and a colleague (male) decided to share a room, as we didn't want to stay in a room with people we didn't know. We didn't give this any second thought, but when our boss noticed he made some remarks to me like :" You should rather share a room with another woman, what will other people think...". I was quite shocked when he told me, because to me it seemed perfectly normal to share rooms with male friends , I had done that numerous times in the past. We ended up sharing the room anyway, but I am still wondering...
I am now working in an international organization and have already asked people from different countries about their opinion on the subject, so far it seems to me that in general it is more like an age thing than country dependent. I'd like to gather some more opinions, so please go ahead!

[Semih_Sayginer]

totally fine here (Scotland) IMHO [age not relevant]

[Monique]

Ekphantos,

I think it's more a matter of personality and to a lesser extend of cultural background. I'm also female, in my fifthies, married, and would rather share a room with a male colleague I trust than with an unkown woman. My husband and myself have a very solid relationship and we trust each other completely. But he would probably be worried of what others would think and say. He's Greek and I'm sure his family and friends would give him a hard time on such a thing ...

[MrRottweiler]

Its outrageous for your boss to say that. You're professional adults. Sounds like he's living in Victorian times.

[Semih_Sayginer]

Its outrageous for your boss to say that. You're professional adults. Sounds like he's living in Victorian times.

perhaps the boss is jealous

[Nina]

I think it is country dependent too. Monique mentioned it already about her Greek husband, I'm afraid people here take it for granted that a man and a woman will share a room only if they have a close personal relationship - or if they don't at the time when they book the room together, surely they'll get sth going by the time they leave that room!! And I think people younger than me think the same way.
Needless to say that is not the case. I would also prefer to share a room with a man who's a friend than some woman I don't trust. But I also see how this can be a problem when the boss gets involved...
Ekphantos, perhaps if you told the boss what you explained to us, he would be more understanding...

[Ekphantos]

Ekphantos, perhaps if you told the boss what you explained to us, he would be more understanding...

I actually explained all that to my boss, but he still was not happy with it. He was rather conservative also in his political views. I am just a bit worried about what to do if something like this comes up in my new group, as I am again the only woman.

[Semih_Sayginer]

tell him that becuase he has conservative views (and a perhaps twisted mind) doesnt mean that a female cannot share a room with a male friend or workmate without doing "rude stuff", and vice versa

[Nina]

I actually explained all that to my boss, but he still was not happy with it. He was rather conservative also in his political views. I am just a bit worried about what to do if something like this comes up in my new group, as I am again the only woman.

Of course you would have explained, what was I thinking!
Are you sure your boss isn't Greek? Then I could explain it to him...

Seriously now, I can totally understand the problem. I guess the question is, how important is this to you? You can't change your boss' mind, that's for sure. So are you willing to jeopardize your good reputation at work to make a point? Cause I can see a person as conservative as that forming an opinion and even passing it on to others based on this issue...

[Ekphantos]

Of course you would have explained, what was I thinking!
Are you sure your boss isn't Greek? Then I could explain it to him...

Seriously now, I can totally understand the problem. I guess the question is, how important is this to you? You can't change your boss' mind, that's for sure. So are you willing to jeopardize your good reputation at work to make a point? Cause I can see a person as conservative as that forming an opinion and even passing it on to others based on this issue...

Well, I am in another group, even in another country now, my old boss was Austrian, my new one is German. As I mentioned in my original post, I finally DID share a room with my colleague, I didn't care about my reputation in that particular group too much as I already knew that I was not going to stay (for some other reasons), but it is just interesting to hear different opinions for future decisions on that matter (and I am sure this is going to come up again at some point as I am still not entitled to a single room ).

[Nina]

If you're the only woman in the group, and not entitled to a single room, aren't you bound to share with a man?!

[MrRottweiler]

My opinion is if people are going to gossip let them. They must have very little else in their lives.

[Ekphantos]

If you're the only woman in the group, and not entitled to a single room, aren't you bound to share with a man?!

No, because at conferences people from different labs/countries meet, I would have to share it with some female stranger.

[Black_cat]

Well, I wouldn't, for practical reasons only. And that because when I'm in my room I want to feel relaxed and not worry about sporting some skimpy outfits or...less... while getting ready for the day or for going to bed.