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Here’s a good ‘un, quite a bit to type but as funny as watching One foot in the Grave methinks.
I've decided I'll make some tubular cue cases and sell them on EBay. Pricing up 32mm inside diameter plastic pipe online I thought I'd found the cheapest price and bookmarked it. On EBay as most manufacturers’ sites state 1000 as a minimum order I found some end caps and contacted the seller. I explained what I wanted them for and asked if they fitted a 32mm I/D pipe tight or were they easily pulled off? He got back to me saying he uses the same pipes and with the end caps he has he makes show jumping gates albeit little ones for dogs shows and such and that they were a permanent tight fit as he uses a mallet to get them in. He then asked where I was going to buy the pipes from and told me of a company where I could get the same far cheaper. Anyways I bought the end caps off him for the bases and ordered some rubber looser fitting caps elsewhere for the tops.
I went to the site recommended and found two lots, both advertised as 32mm inside diameter pipe. Identical but the dearer lot had a British standards number. Like a fool I chose the cheaper lot as it was half the price. Ordered and paid for it, along with a set of small files which were only 98p (one at least should be ok for re-tipping) and a delivery charge was added at £5. Fair enough, so far anyways.
Caps were first to arrive yesterday morning and I tried them on the 32mm pipe ADR147 had used to pack the cue I had bought off him. They fitted tight but not as tight as I expected, I certainly did not need a mallet to get them in as I was told and I realised they could be used for both the tops and bottoms but before I tried to cancel the order I'd made for the tops I thought I'd wait first to see the actual tubes I'd bought.
They arrived not long after but only two of the 6 cues I have would go in the damn things. 29 mm the tubes were, not 32mm at all. Two were rugby ball shaped, another had a 4" split in it and the 3ft square box that came with them merely contained one invoice on a sheet of A4 paper! No files were to be seen anywhere so back online I went and found a freephone number.
I told them I suspected the dearer ones were actually 32mm and sending me a replacement batch of cheap ones would be just as useless for my purpose and 5 min’s later I thought I'd had it sorted:
"We will collect the tubes on Thursday and then refund you, You just go back on line and order the dearer ones. Oh and the files we'll get to you tomorrow."
Sounds ok? did to me, I thanked her and put the phone down. A few minutes later I thought hang on, if I order the dearer ones now I'll have them delivered tomorrow and there will be a delivery of the files too and a separate collection! Four journeys in all, when two would suffice. May as well go back to them and tell them to do it all in just one more visit. Do them a favour, after all they were very efficient and helpful.
Trouble was I had to go through it all with another person. And that’s where the fun began…
blah blah blah...
"Yes that’s right we'll refund you £15"
£20
No 15
Huh, kept that quiet the first time I rang. I'm not paying two lots of delivery charges luv sod that for a game of soldiers. Hell I'm ringing up to save you two journeys and you’re telling me I've got to pay for your cock up?
But we delivered the pipes.
Yes but they were not the right size. Are you now telling me I'm going to pay £5 delivery for 98p worth of files and £5 delivery for the new order of pipes too?
No the files were not included in the original order so we'll pay the carriage for them
But not for the pipes?
No because we delivered them.
In my best Mr Meldrew voice I replied...
I don’t believe this! You’ve got to be kidding me.! You advertise the wrong bloody size!
But we delivered them.
SO BLOODY WHAT? YOUR THE ONES AT FAULT NOT ME!
Would you like to take it up with my supervisor?
Yes I would
(It's a free phone number and there was bugger all on the telly so sod ‘em. I thought I'm going to town on this one and while waiting for the supervisor I even put my cloth cap to remind me to keep up the Mr Meldrew voice.)
It was virtually the same conversation again 3 times over with the supervisor till she said...
Company policy is to offer you a replacement or a refund, you chose the refund.
But you won’t refund the delivery charge? Even though you’re breaking the law with a false advertisement? Besides which I did not choose a refund.
It says on my screen you did.
Screw your screen.
I beg your Pardon.
So you bloody well should!
If the size was wrong we offer a replacement or a refund. You chose a refund.
But I want a replacement. I did not choose a refund I was told I'd be given one and I was to reorder.
Well we can do a replacement, part#1234 wasn’t it?
Yes but that’s not what I want.
32mm inside diameter pipe?
In your dreams luv. Its 29mm tops. I want the dearer stuff, part number abc999 Made by people who know how to measure stuff unlike you lot.
It's a new order then so there’s a £5 delivery charge.
So be it, long as you refund the first delivery charge.
We can’t do that.
Want a bet?
But it's company policy to...
I don’t give a toss what the companies policy is luv you advertise something which it is not, you deliver it, it's no friggin good, you replace it at your expense end of story.
Part # 1234 ?
NO YOU SILLY COW!
But that is what you ordered, 32mm pipe.
Yes and I want 32mm but 1234 is not 32mm how many times must I tell you that?
It is 32mm
Is it bollocks!
And round and round we went again for another 5 minutes. Company policy I’m sure must be rile the customer up so much that he goes ape**** at them then hang up. I kept on thinking of Meldrew though and after a few more “I don’t believe this” impressions she eventually said...
Look, we are getting nowhere; ok on this occasion we'll waive the delivery charge but next time...
At that I cut in...
Don’t next time me missus. If I'm daft enough to shop with you cowboys ever again you'll obey the law or see me in court. You'll refund in full if it’s your fault every bloody time.
There were a couple more exchanges but I was getting a bit bored by then so I accepted the no delivery fee and told her...
Ok I’ll forgo your apology this time.
Stupid cow. Screwfix! Bah, more like a Stitchjob I reckon.
Anyone else got any real life Victor Meldrew stories?
I've decided I'll make some tubular cue cases and sell them on EBay. Pricing up 32mm inside diameter plastic pipe online I thought I'd found the cheapest price and bookmarked it. On EBay as most manufacturers’ sites state 1000 as a minimum order I found some end caps and contacted the seller. I explained what I wanted them for and asked if they fitted a 32mm I/D pipe tight or were they easily pulled off? He got back to me saying he uses the same pipes and with the end caps he has he makes show jumping gates albeit little ones for dogs shows and such and that they were a permanent tight fit as he uses a mallet to get them in. He then asked where I was going to buy the pipes from and told me of a company where I could get the same far cheaper. Anyways I bought the end caps off him for the bases and ordered some rubber looser fitting caps elsewhere for the tops.
I went to the site recommended and found two lots, both advertised as 32mm inside diameter pipe. Identical but the dearer lot had a British standards number. Like a fool I chose the cheaper lot as it was half the price. Ordered and paid for it, along with a set of small files which were only 98p (one at least should be ok for re-tipping) and a delivery charge was added at £5. Fair enough, so far anyways.
Caps were first to arrive yesterday morning and I tried them on the 32mm pipe ADR147 had used to pack the cue I had bought off him. They fitted tight but not as tight as I expected, I certainly did not need a mallet to get them in as I was told and I realised they could be used for both the tops and bottoms but before I tried to cancel the order I'd made for the tops I thought I'd wait first to see the actual tubes I'd bought.
They arrived not long after but only two of the 6 cues I have would go in the damn things. 29 mm the tubes were, not 32mm at all. Two were rugby ball shaped, another had a 4" split in it and the 3ft square box that came with them merely contained one invoice on a sheet of A4 paper! No files were to be seen anywhere so back online I went and found a freephone number.
I told them I suspected the dearer ones were actually 32mm and sending me a replacement batch of cheap ones would be just as useless for my purpose and 5 min’s later I thought I'd had it sorted:
"We will collect the tubes on Thursday and then refund you, You just go back on line and order the dearer ones. Oh and the files we'll get to you tomorrow."
Sounds ok? did to me, I thanked her and put the phone down. A few minutes later I thought hang on, if I order the dearer ones now I'll have them delivered tomorrow and there will be a delivery of the files too and a separate collection! Four journeys in all, when two would suffice. May as well go back to them and tell them to do it all in just one more visit. Do them a favour, after all they were very efficient and helpful.
Trouble was I had to go through it all with another person. And that’s where the fun began…
blah blah blah...
"Yes that’s right we'll refund you £15"
£20
No 15
Huh, kept that quiet the first time I rang. I'm not paying two lots of delivery charges luv sod that for a game of soldiers. Hell I'm ringing up to save you two journeys and you’re telling me I've got to pay for your cock up?
But we delivered the pipes.
Yes but they were not the right size. Are you now telling me I'm going to pay £5 delivery for 98p worth of files and £5 delivery for the new order of pipes too?
No the files were not included in the original order so we'll pay the carriage for them
But not for the pipes?
No because we delivered them.
In my best Mr Meldrew voice I replied...
I don’t believe this! You’ve got to be kidding me.! You advertise the wrong bloody size!
But we delivered them.
SO BLOODY WHAT? YOUR THE ONES AT FAULT NOT ME!
Would you like to take it up with my supervisor?
Yes I would
(It's a free phone number and there was bugger all on the telly so sod ‘em. I thought I'm going to town on this one and while waiting for the supervisor I even put my cloth cap to remind me to keep up the Mr Meldrew voice.)
It was virtually the same conversation again 3 times over with the supervisor till she said...
Company policy is to offer you a replacement or a refund, you chose the refund.
But you won’t refund the delivery charge? Even though you’re breaking the law with a false advertisement? Besides which I did not choose a refund.
It says on my screen you did.
Screw your screen.
I beg your Pardon.
So you bloody well should!
If the size was wrong we offer a replacement or a refund. You chose a refund.
But I want a replacement. I did not choose a refund I was told I'd be given one and I was to reorder.
Well we can do a replacement, part#1234 wasn’t it?
Yes but that’s not what I want.
32mm inside diameter pipe?
In your dreams luv. Its 29mm tops. I want the dearer stuff, part number abc999 Made by people who know how to measure stuff unlike you lot.
It's a new order then so there’s a £5 delivery charge.
So be it, long as you refund the first delivery charge.
We can’t do that.
Want a bet?
But it's company policy to...
I don’t give a toss what the companies policy is luv you advertise something which it is not, you deliver it, it's no friggin good, you replace it at your expense end of story.
Part # 1234 ?
NO YOU SILLY COW!
But that is what you ordered, 32mm pipe.
Yes and I want 32mm but 1234 is not 32mm how many times must I tell you that?
It is 32mm
Is it bollocks!
And round and round we went again for another 5 minutes. Company policy I’m sure must be rile the customer up so much that he goes ape**** at them then hang up. I kept on thinking of Meldrew though and after a few more “I don’t believe this” impressions she eventually said...
Look, we are getting nowhere; ok on this occasion we'll waive the delivery charge but next time...
At that I cut in...
Don’t next time me missus. If I'm daft enough to shop with you cowboys ever again you'll obey the law or see me in court. You'll refund in full if it’s your fault every bloody time.
There were a couple more exchanges but I was getting a bit bored by then so I accepted the no delivery fee and told her...
Ok I’ll forgo your apology this time.
Stupid cow. Screwfix! Bah, more like a Stitchjob I reckon.
Anyone else got any real life Victor Meldrew stories?
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