Just call me Victor Meldrew.

[PaulTheSoave]

hehehehehe For international transfers, The IBAN Code is needed. I bet you dont have it!

001437985 sort code 63/33/21

[ADR147]

lol thats no problem i take paypal!

[MrRottweiler]

I hate it when companies mess me about but my trick is to dress very smart and take it straight to the manager in a friendly, laid back but assertive manner. This makes it very difficult for them to not give me what I want. If its a phone call I put on my poshest voice and will sometimes write down what I'm going to say so it looks like I'm very confident . I'll alwasy remember something my dad said when I was younger and he's an expert on this kind of thing.

"Never take no for an answer from someone who is not authorised to say yes"

[PaulTheSoave]

Does the trick. I sometimes use my legal expertise background in certain matters. Saying, I like court procedures and asking for damages. Did the trick with the tax department, who valued my house double its real value, the council pounding an enormous amount of tax on my extension, and McDonalds, lacking safety procedures when my daughter burnt her arm (in her weekend job). Furthermore Dell LTD provided me with a free hard drive, even when the guarantee period had expired for 2 years. And saved the data from the old one.

ps. Forward your consumer complaints and I am willing to negotiate your complaints (for a small fee of course )

[Wity]

Having just posted the thread "how stupid can one get" it reminded me i should have updated this one when i finally got my refund.

Somewhere in the fourth week after they said it would be done "today" they actually credited my bank account.

[MrRottweiler]

On a recent visit to a large British Heart Foundation store I was clamped and had to pay an £80 release fee. The store is close to my town centre and because of that people were using the car park and walking in to the town. Its fair enough that BHF want to 'clamp' down on this but I actually parked up and went in to the shop to have a nose around. I then left by another entrance and strolled around the shop back to my car. In these few minutes I was clamped! The clamper said he saw me park up and thoback at the car minutes after I had parked meaning I hadn't parked there intending on going elsewhere meant nothing to him. It happened to another elderly customer in exactly the same way and he reported it to the local paper. After a few polite phone calls and descriptive letter I recieved an £80 cheque this week. Of course I feel bad taking money back from them because they are a charity but it was unfair and a refund is appropriate. It also means I will start visiting there again.

[elvaago]

Company calls me.
Lady: bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. So can I have your name?
Me: <insert name>
Lady: Address?
Me: What for?
Lady: So we can send you the contract.
Me: But I didn't ask for any contract.
Lady: But it's a great deal!

I hang up.

Next day.
Same company calls me.
Supervisor of lady: Hello sir. One of our employees called you last night and you hung up on her in the middle of the phone conversation!
Me: I guess I must've! Or the line went dead, I dunno!
Supervisor: Well, you were already halfway the conversation. Why are you wasting our time?
Me: YOU CALLED ME! YOU CALLED ME UP AND BOMBARDED ME WITH INFORMATION AND WITHOUT ASKING ME IF I WANTED ANYTHING DEMANDED MY ADDRESS INFORMATION!
Supervisor: but you could've told her you weren't interested right away.
Me: SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME A CHANCE! SHE RATTLED OFF A 5 MINUTE SALES PITCH AND THEN WITHOUT ASKING ME ANYTHING SHE DEMANDED INFORMATION!
Supervisor: Well still you should not waste our time like that.
Me: YOU. CALLED. ME. I. DID. NOT. CALL. YOU.
Supervisor: blablablabla

I hang up again.

Idiots.

[Wity]

Keep em coming folks I love to read these true stories, better than the tv anyday.

Heres another:

Must have been about 15 years ago now I went to Tenerife on a holiday and each day we walked down the hill to the beach and town centre a walk of around 20 minuites and at night it was a taxi back up it. Every time we were approached by timeshare touts twice at least. After a week of this i was well ****ed off with them and thought i'll give them a taste of their own medicene.

Two guys passed us riding a scooter, the passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder and pointed with his thumb as if to say "go back there" and they pulled over. With their clipboard which I recognised as definately being used by most of the timeshare people they started to walk toward us so I pounced...

I ran towards them and before they had a chance to even open their mouths I gave them the fastest spoken sales pitch imaginable as to why they needed to buy a personal pension plan from me that lasted a good 15 minuites at which point I was distracted by a bee or something and finally paused.

The one guy turned to the other and with open hands he shrugged his shoulders they then said god only know what in German went back to their scooter rode off waving and shouted " bye bye Crazy eeeglisheman have holly hapiday"

I turned round and saw my missus and son sitting on the wall she was laughing her head off.

"Okay it's a taxi down this bloody hill as well as up it from now on!"

[elvaago]

This is a true story. Back in the 1920s, people here were very poor and they could get free pants from the city if they were poor enough.

Man comes to city hall. He's not wearing any pants!
Man: I've come for my free pants.
Clerk: Alright sir, please fill out this form and we'll get to work on that.
Man: What?
Clerk: You have to fill out this form! We need your information.
Man: Sorry, I am deaf, can you say it louder?
Clerk: WE NEED YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS!
Man: Sorry, I can't hear you, can you write it down?
Clerk writes the information down and gives it to the man.
Man stares at the note for a while and then looks at the clerk.
Man: I didn't bring my glasses, can you read it for me?