controlling aggression

[Belloz22]

simple question...... i get wound up alot playing snooker, especially if playing my dad.... so what techniques do you use to stop the outbursts. its not not being able to stay relaxed, but stopping everything annoying you??

could maybe playing with headphones in and listening to music help?!

[aussie147]

the same used to happen to me. I enjoy giving my old man a game but your right it can annoy you and potentially do more bad for you game than good if you let it affect you. My dad used to always say how did you miss that, obviously you dont mean to miss it but it does effect you mentally.
Playing with earphones in may help by blocking out the noise.

When i was younger there were a few players who I didnt enjoy playing, who had annoying habits and mannerisms that used to effect me. Do you experience that aswell?

In time you learn to deal with it and accept it, something i used to do when playing my dad was not sit near him during a frame, so that i couldnt get caught up in conversation during the frame, and if i missed a shot i would return to my chair and just think about how and why i missed.

I remember an interview with Mark King before the WC 2009 with rob walker who said when his dad used to ask how did you miss that pot, he used to feel like knocking him out. All felt that im sure at one point!!

[damienlch]

I recall reading about this part of the brain called the amygdala, a primitive part of the brain which supposedly controls the "fight or flight" response, basically our animalistic instincts. Also, there's another part of the brain which developed as humans evolved to be more sophisticated, the prefrontal cortex. It deals with our decision making and social behaviour; basically what makes us a rational, thinking, civilised being.

When stressed, our amygdala "fires up" much, much more rapidly than our prefrontal cortex. Thus, it's so much easier and faster to get angry, blurt out some hurtful stuff "without thinking" and then when our prefrontal cortex starts to turn its rusty gears, you regret what you did.

That's why counting to ten might help control aggression. It would allow time for your more rational thoughts to take over and lessen your chances of making a rash decison...

Just found this on Youtube which explains it much better than I did...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRBltKdw3yw

[CueAntW147]

Aggression can be a good thing......but only if you can channel it in your play rather than outbursts as such, always adds some spice to the game and can help fire you up to play better. I've played against lots of players who annoy me for different reasons over the years, and aggression is a great motitivator for me to try harder.

Other thing is if people know things wind you up or there " getting to you " they'll do it all the more and you'll be playing right into there hands, much better just channel the anger into your game that way if you win it means more and can be a great feeling if you lose though thats another story.......lol
It also works in reverse i know players who have outbursts for no reason other than just to put there opponent off ! having a good sense of humour can also help just keep batting things off that wind you up and enjoy the game........;-)

[Belloz22]

When i was younger there were a few players who I didnt enjoy playing, who had annoying habits and mannerisms that used to effect me. Do you experience that aswell?

i think that is kind of it.... instead of being fustrated with myself, i find habits of.certain prople fustrate me, whether it be how they walk round the table to how they always wanna convo when im on my shot. or even bein to concerned with everything else but playing the game.

this fustration ends up effecting me big time, and i sometimes assume these annoying habits are done for the intrest of annoying me..... when they probably aint. i think i may just have to block everything out by playing music. i would like to.be able to sit in my chair until my next shot, but as we always pick the colours out for each other its kind of hard to seperate myself from the player and the table

[lennon11]

going to sound like an annoyimg girlfriend now but.....come on guys it is only a game....enjoyment leads to better play alot more often than frustration or anger.

[davipp]

Nothing annoys me more than a player wearing earphones during a match. You should learn to cope with your opponents temperament but better still your opponent should be told to curb his anger & frustrations and get on with the game. I know if it was happening during a comp game I would be asking the Referee to control the situation. As a Referee I would ask the other player does he mind his opponent wearing the earphones and if he does not than I would ask the player to remove them before play commenced.

[throtts]

Earphones,,, do you guy's think they be wearing them in April at the Crucible..

[Belloz22]

i cant see a problem with headphones.... longs they cant be heard. and dont interfere with communication from the ref. no more distracting than a deaf aid??

[gazza147]

I cannot see this ever being allowed in a Profesional Tourny Especially Not on Tv.

[Luke Hooper]

i have become increasingly worse over the last few months with my aggression around the table... specifically when playing in lower tournaments (i.e. nothing like the amateurs etc) i have a tendency to get very frustrated with myself and which has led to me punching the table a number of times... and more stupidly hitting myself over the head with the cue lol....

i don't know how to stop this, i get so wound up over the silliest of things... especially when playing my dad! he's the flukiest person alive, its not that that does it, i don't know... lol

at the amateurs i played the worst snooker of my life and all i wanted to do was hit the table as hard as i could but i didn't, instead i just muttered things to myself lol it sounds so stupid now i think about it but at the time I'm so annoyed i just can't help it! even when i play with headphones on my own just practicing... i been thinking about having a break for a little while but i know that won't help and ill most likely end up falling out of love with the game and not wanting to play...

think i need sue anger management counselling! lol some days I'm completely fine though, fluke after fluke i just sit there and acknowledge it (specifically when I'm cueing well, maybe because i know i will make it back in the first opportunity i get, but when I'm not thats when i think I'm most frustrated!)

anyone got any words of wisdom on this?

[damienlch]

...anyone got any words of wisdom on this?

Hmmmm, words of wisdom... words of wisdom... how about "Anger leads to hate, hate to suffering."

Sorry, couldn't resist... but I think maintaining a positive outlook in life helps. Think happy thoughts...

[Belloz22]

@luke hopper...... you sound like my twin..... my dad is exactley the same and i react in.the same mannerisms as you

[vmax4steve]

Don't mean to harp on about it but Sigmund Freud said that all men want to kill their fathers and make love to their mothers and headphones will not cure that.
Of course it's a metaphor, but one that has to be understood.

[Belloz22]

i studied a psychology degree and most of frueds "sexual theories" have all been disproved..... but its similarities in people like this that do make me have some belief he was on the right lines. i think its more me been annoyed with myself leading to anger than just my dad as it happens no matter who i play