The TEN COMMANDMENTS of Snooker

[mythman69]

I was thinking this morning . . . if snooker is a religion . . . what are the TEN COMMANDMENTS of Snooker?

Here is my list:

Thou shall always chalk your tip
Thou shall check the whole table for options
Thou shall keep your back leg straight
Thou shall get your head down on the cue
Thou shall aim carefully
Thou shall watch the object ball when striking the cue ball
Thou shall keep your body/head still and stay down
Thou shall respect the referee and other player
Thou shall call a foul on yourself when you foul (sin)
Thou shall not lean your cue on the wall or covert another players cue

Anyone else got a better list?

I hope this thread doesn't offend anyone!

; )

[Looki]

Opponent shall stfu while you're playing.

Actually, the whole session shall be respected with silence.

[cantpotforshíte]

Thou shalt visualise an outcome for every shot.
Thou shalt trust thy inner self to complete said shot.
Thou shalt not judge thy leave as either good nor bad, but as it is.
Thou shalt not be ruled by the ego; nor shalt thou pander to the ego, nor preen nor pamper nor listen to it, for the ego will always succeed in defeating thou.
Thou shalt not think but feel.
Thou shalt not judge thy own efforts, but be aware of the outcome.
Thou shalt not try to pot the ball once down upon the shot, but simply deliver the cue.
Thou shalt not have a fascination with the snappy shut clasp things on thy case, and the noise that they make upon closing.
Thou shalt not kill thy opponent, unless he fails to observe the commandment above.
Thou shalt not (unlike Shaun Murphy) make it obvious to persons in the third row upon which side thou dresseth.

[machine230677]

Thou shalt not laugh at a mate who misses a pot when it looks almost impossible to do so.

[cyberheater]

Thou shalt not (unlike Shaun Murphy) make it obvious to persons in the third row upon which side thou dresseth.

That had me chuckling.

I like the commandment about not potting the ball but delivering the cue. It's a subtle change of mental position but I appeals to me as it would take the pressure off potting a ball and I can focus on pushing the cue through straight.

[vmax4steve]

thou shalt learn to play with side despite what Terry says
thou shalt turn off thy mobile phone
thou shalt burn as heretics those that do not turn off their mobile phones
thou shalt not eat the whole fatted calf, Steven & Shaun
thou shalt not take an eternity to make a break of twelve, Peter
thou shalt not use squeaky chalk
thou shalt not trespass along the line of the shot
thou shalt not forgive those that trespass along the line of the shot
thou shalt not covet the slim, sensual, raven haired, almond eyed asian beauty with the white gloves
thou shalt acknowledge Alex Higgins as the tortured messiah

[Dalboy]

thou shalt not curse out loud when missing said easy shot even if being laughed at

[Stevie]

Oooh some good ones there,I only have a few:
Thou shalt always enjoy it
Thou shalt always have a laugh in non competitve games
Thou shalt put some solo practice in (not too much)
Thou shalt keep head still
Thou shalt cue straight
Thou shalt treat others as you'd like others to treat unto you
Thou shalt tease about winning last session until next session
Thou shalt remember with the exception of half of Ronnie, we are all inconsistent.

[magicman]

Thou shalt not use blue chalk
Thou shalt not talk to me on my shot
Thou shalt turn your phone onto silent
Thou shalt pick the balls out on my break
Thou shalt not ask "What's that?" halfway through my break
Thou shalt count aloud if you can't count in your head
Thou shalt not text or answer calls during a frame
Thou shalt not tut or comment aloud when you think I've had a bit of run
Thou shalt not arrange a session and then want to stop cause you're 4-0 behind
Thou shalt not whine cause you're playing like a nob

[LittleMissAlexa]

thou shall go on twitter and call an entire nation cheats

by Mark Allen

[LittleMissAlexa]

thou shall threaten retirement every few months

by Ronnie o'sullivan

[LittleMissAlexa]

thou shall eat pies that the nice bookmaker gives me for losing a match

by Steve Lee

[GeordieDS]

Thou shall not say 'good shot' before an opponent rattles a pot
Thou shall apologise for guessing that said shot was going in before actually looking
Thou shall fall asleep whilst watching repeats of Terry Griffiths v Cliff Thorburn
Thou shall harm oneself for thinking of Terry Griffiths v Cliff Thorburn
Thou shall drink alcohol slower if drawn last in league games

[flame]

thou shalt not covet another man's case
thou shalt not worship any other cue but thy own
thou shalt not commit unconsentration
thou shalt honour thy opponent (ok while he's watching)
thou shalt say side not english,in-off not scratch,
thou shalt not lie,unless you lose

[mythman69]

Thou shall not chat on a mobile during games?
Thou shall not steal anothers chalk
Thou shall not sell a fake cue on ebay
Thou shall not spill beer on the table