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Ssb - tales from the circuit#2
The year was 1997 and the political wind in Britain had blown in a new direction, towards Tony Blair’s New Labour.It therefore naturally followed that the WPBSA would appoint an arch Conservative as its new president.
Lord Jeffrey Archer was a former Tory vice-chairman, a novelist and one of the most controversial figures in British public life, having obtained a reputation for, well, not always being particularly honest.
These indiscretions ranged from claims of being misleading over his educational background to allegations of insider trading and, in between, a libel trial in which he successfully sued the Daily Star for alleging he’d had a dalliance with a prostitute (more of which later).
Despite all this, however, he was highly influential and hosted annual parties attended by the great, good and not so good. He had the ear of prime ministers and his eye on the newly announced position of Mayor of London.
Quite how he came to be chosen for the WPBSA presidency is not absolutely clear. But he threw himself into the role with trademark gusto, gleefully dressing up in a waistcoat to pose for pictures with the then world champion, Ken Doherty, on a table erected opposite the houses of parliament when his appointment was announced.
The story interested the media. Archer was an ebullient sort who had fought back from bankruptcy to enjoy a high flying career as a best selling author and businessman.
[There had previously been a peer of the realm occupying such a lofty position. The Billiards Association and Control Council was overseen in the early part of the 20th century by Lord Alverstone.
A couple of days before presenting Melbourne Inman with the world billiards trophy in 1919, Alverstone had sentenced Dr. Crippen to death. His speech on the final night of the billiards was interrupted by Tom Reece, beaten by Inman in the semi-finals, who told him: Excuse me, my Lord, but if you knew as much about him as I do, you would have given Crippen the cup and sentenced Inman to death.’]
Archer’s enthusiasm for snooker had not been generally known but he proudly boasted a highest break of 32. He even claimed to remember the order in which he potted the balls.
The first seeds of doubt about the appointment arrived when he gave a speech shortly after accepting the job in which he said, ‘who can forget that magical night in 1985 when Dennis Taylor beat Steve Davis on the pink?’
I thought it only fair to forgive a slip of the tongue – even by such an accomplished public speaker – until I found out he said exactly the same thing in another speech not long afterwards.
Still, Archer had the profile to help give snooker a bit of a boost in the media. He seemed prepared to roll up his sleeves and spread the word.
Dougie Donnelly on the BBC put it to him that ‘it’s surprising you like this game bearing in mind the reds outnumber the blues 15 to 1.’
Archer shot back, ‘yes, but when the reds are all gone the blue remains.’
One of his first innovations was to insist all the officials – and even the TV cameramen – dressed in full dinner jackets for finals.
These were a tad cumbersome when you are working rather than watching the snooker from the front row, especially for the cameramen on the floor, not all of whom could be described as svelte.
Archer’s plan to smarten up the image of snooker was slightly undermined when he turned up at one of the ITV finals in a red sweater and beige slacks.
To be fair to him, though, he seemed to genuinely enjoy the snooker circuit and was refreshingly unpretentious and willing to make fun of himself. I confess I quite liked him.
He also brought one of his friends along to the World Championship, the then leader of the Conservatives, William Hague, who turned up with his wife, Ffion, and father, who was a big snooker fan.
They were shown around the Crucible’s Heritage Room – they were Conservatives after all – and then into the arena, where Hague posed the question, ‘is this the same table you take everywhere?’
It would be unfair to blame this brush with snooker for what subsequently happened but the fact remains that Hague was humiliated in a Labour landslide two years later and resigned to be replaced by Iain Duncan-Smith, the self proclaimed ‘quiet man’ of British politics who lasted two years before losing his voice altogether.
His replacement was Michael Howard, who recently finished joint last with John Higgins on Celebrity Mastermind.
Anyway, back to Archer...
He remained a relentlessly cheerful presence at tournaments and was impossible to read. I heard a story that he was walking from the sponsor’s marquee to the Crucible with an official one night when a couple of drunks accosted him and said something along the lines of, ‘eh, Jeff, any chance of a couple of tickets for tomorrow?’
Archer told them to turn up at stage door the next morning. Drunk or sober, believing a politician’s promise isn’t always wise but curiosity got the better of them and they duly arrived at stage door the next day to be handed two tickets, courtesy of his Lordship.
Alas, Archer’s association with the WPBSA was to come to an end due to the small matter of being arrested on charges of perjury.
It was claimed he had fabricated an alibi during the aforementioned Daily Star libel trial. Archer was subsequently found guilty and jailed. He served two years.
True to form, he has since bounced back by penning a best-selling prison diary and several other books.
The bizarre postscript to this sorry tale happened in Malta where myself and a few other journalists were sunning ourselves by the pool before a hard day at the coal face.
A bunch of very well to do people were staying in the hotel where they were taking part in a bridge tournament. We got chatting to one woman who it turned out not only knew Archer but had been involved in the events that eventually led to his downfall.
She was distracted, though, because the Russian bridge team had failed to turn up. It led to her marching up to photographer Eric Whitehead, a northerner, and saying, ‘You look a bit Russian. Are you a Cossack?’
Eric replied, ‘no, I’m from Bury.’
The golfer Ian Woosnam took over from Archer as president but the role has since been retired.
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