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Expected European decision should yield tremendous improvement in commication...

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  • Expected European decision should yield tremendous improvement in commication...

    The December European Council may announce an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than French or German.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
    that would become known as "Euro-English".
    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
    shorter.
    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    This indeed should greatly improve communication on forums like ours.
    Proud winner of the 2008 Bahrain Championship Lucky Dip
    http://ronnieosullivan.tv/forum/index.php

  • #2
    Scarier than global warming!!
    Winner of the 2009 UK Championship Lucky Dip
    Co-winner of Spike’s 2009 UK Championship number of centuries prediction contest

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    • #3
      Originally Posted by Monique View Post
      This indeed should greatly improve communication on forums like ours.
      Mon... it is sad that, while blending languages one into another does make for more "universal" understanding,
      the process of homogenization filters out some of the more colourful types of impure, local verbal communication.

      There must be some kind of equivalent in Geordie or other
      to North American Ebonics?

      For example, in this Ebonics Spelling Bee, Leroy, a 20 year old 5th grader
      must use each vocabulary word in a sentence...


      1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and dat hotel everybody.
      2. Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
      3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
      4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
      5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my uncle rectum both.
      6. Disappointment- My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
      7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
      8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "Man, it look fake." He say "Bull****, that watch israel".
      9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
      10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall".
      11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I toll' my uncle "Iraq, you break".
      12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?".
      13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify.".
      14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.".
      15. Omelette - "I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide".



      =o)

      Noel

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